Wednesday, December 4, 2013

"Not My Will, Not God's Will Either....Embrace the Life You Have!"

  I live a life that is nothing like the life I willed for myself to live.   I don't believe for one minute it is the life God willed for me either.  It is the life I have been dealt due to decisions made; some by me, some by my children, and God expects me to carry on in His will which is to live as His son Jesus lived.  This is an excerpt from a  letter I wrote to my friend.
  • Our lives have gone off in different directions. We've both faced adversities we never imagined we would face with our families. It is a miracle we are alive and sane to carry on with our mission in life to be as Jesus would be. I see Christianity so different than I used to. I do thank God for all my "religious" experiences as they have shaped how I truly see myself in God's family. It is so simple. Just be like Jesus. Love the unlovable(my kids are very unlovable at times and so is my hubby), give to those in need(you know I do my best with that), give mercy to those who need mercy and grace to those who need grace. I used to be so legalistic I really didn't know what it was to be merciful and full of grace. I could give. I've always been a giver, but I never could get a grasp of being merciful and full of grace. All that I have gone through, each trial I have faced, each sin I have seen my children do, has really taught me to love in forgiveness, grace, and mercy. I have seen my self succumb to addiction too, and have had to run to God and ask for forgiveness and mercy. I thank Him that he has given it to me. I do things I never thought I would do. My home is open to sinners and I love them as God would. After all, I am a sinner and he allows me to live the life I live. My life is to live among the sinners, welcome them into my home, and give them the love, grace and mercy God has for them. By loving them and truly caring for them(sometimes with tough love) I show them what Jesus was on this earth. Like Jesus, I break bread with many who seem unseemly to others, but I do my best to see what Jesus sees in them as that is what he does with me when I am unseemly. I make friends with people I never saw myself making friends with. I have learned so much about those who don't see eye to eye with me on various moral issues. We are all a lot closer than we think. Of course there is a fine line that could be crossed if you allow someone else's sin to become your sin too. I pray that the love I show to those who have been tossed aside, will bring them to the one true God. Only God knows, but I march forward doing what I know is pure, noble, just , and lovely, as it pleases Him and after all that is what really matters. I haven't been to church much as I work weekends, and I stopped Bible studies as they seemed to be more like pity parties and no one ever seemed to move forward with their lives and that is not what I wanted. I pray God has given you peace about where you are in your walk with Him too. I don't feel guilty for not being part of the "religious right" or this or that denomination. I am proud to love and worship God, and try to be as His son Jesus would be to everyone I meet. My, what a mission field I have where I work! I don't have to go to Africa to reach the lost. There are so many lost in my back yard that I could never reach them all. If I can make a difference in my family and reach some of the unloved of this city, that will be sufficient for me. This truly isn't the life I would have chosen for myself. A life of heartache over the abuse, addictions, and immoralities that have come upon my children's lives. It is not what I willed, but this is my life, therefore I embrace it with all the love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness God can give me.