I have said a thousand times at my house, "Why can't you clean up after yourself? Why do I have to keep cleaning up after your mess?" Funny thing about that too, the longer you keep cleaning up after their mess, the longer they will keep being messy.
The mess of their lives, unlike my sink, needs to be cleaned by them and Jesus, not me. This year I am going to make a mammoth effort to leave their messes alone. Why do I try and fix their messes? My mother didn't butt into my life. She let me live it and figure things out. I am better for it. Does that mean I am not here for them if they need me? Certainly not. Part of grace and mercy is being there when they need you no matter what they have gone through, then when they ask, you do what you are able to.
I have already been faced with 2 situations this year. One is major. My daughter is losing her housing. I am here for her and have given her moral support, but I am not offering anything to her other than that and maybe some ideas if she asks. I want her to be an adult and try to figure this out on her own and only jump in if she asks and I am able to help.
The other situation was listening to my son lie about why he wasn't coming into work on time. I wanted to jump out of my chair and say, "What are you thinking?" My brain kicked in and my heart let go and I said to myself, "I am not responsible for this part of his life. He was polished and shined with love and Jesus, and now it is time for him to see consequences and learn."
At a time when most people are making their New Years list of things to do, my list is a list of things "not" to do. I will not butt into their lives!!!!! Really, it is simple. Much harder for those of us who have adult children living at home and you see and hear everything. I think that is part of the issue. In this day and time, so many of our children live at home for a long time. My mom didn't have to watch every mistake I made. I see most of it!!! Very tough thing to go through.
So clean and polish your sinks, floor, appliances etc. and leave the adult children polishing to Jesus!!!!